A Lesson in Leadership from an 11-Year-Old

As parents we try to teach our kids that if they live their lives following the golden rules, they will achieve the successes they strive toward. I cannot count how many times I have stressed to my two daughters, if they follow these rules for living, they will receive that level of success. It was only recently, while reflecting on the essence of leadership, I realized the lessons my husband and I have passed onto our daughters, lessons passed on to us from our parents and their parents before them, would come full circle.

A few weeks ago, my 11-year-old daughter was faced with a very tough decision--doing what is right, or following your friends to look good in their eyes. For many years my husband and I have repeatedly told our daughters that sometimes doing the right thing is not always the most popular thing. As long as you do what is right, you will never have to worry. The rest will be taken care of for you.

This past Halloween my daughter wanted to go trick-or-treating with her friends. One was a 13-year-old and the other is my daughter's age. While they were getting dressed, I overheard the other two girls saying they wanted to go alone. They didn’t need an adult to chaperone them. My daughter made the comment that they should have an adult go with them for safety reasons, but her words fell on deaf ears. The original plan was to go trick-or-treating and have a sleepover at the 13-year-old's house. As the evening progressed the talk turned from innocent childlike fun to the girls plotting to sneak out and go to a party later that night. Several hours after my husband chaperoned the girls' trick-or-treating, we allowed our daughter stay the night at her friend's house as previously agreed, making it clear there was to be no sneaking out of the house. We were also assured by the girl’s parents that there would be adult supervision at all times. A couple of hours after my husband dropped the girls off to the 13-year-old's house, our 11-year-old called us asking to be picked up. She said she did not want to stay the night because the other two girls still decided they were going to sneak out after promising they would not.

On the way home, out of curiosity, we asked her what made her call and not just go with the flow. Her comment resonated with me, but most importantly taught me a lesson on the essence of leadership and how the golden rules instilled in us as children guide us when we are facing tough decisions. Our daughter answered that if she would have snuck out with the others, most likely we would have never known. However, she knew if she betrayed our trust, she would never get it back again. I asked how her friends felt about her calling us and leaving after she planned to stay the night. She responded “I know they will be mad and will probably treat me differently. Maybe they won’t be friends with me after this. But at the end of the day, sometimes it is more important to do what is right verses what is popular.”

I could not help but feel a sense of pride. Our daughter is able to make the right decisions regardless of who is watching. I also learned the golden rules we were taught as children and strive to teach our children work and are just as applicable to leadership behaviors as they are to everyday living.

Read this list of golden rules I have put together. Are able to see how they connect to leadership?

 Treat people the way you want to be treated.
 Let your conscience be your guide.
 Do the right thing even when you think others are not looking.
 Never be afraid to speak up when you see something being done that is wrong.
 Understand that trust is earned. Once lost, it is hard to get back.
 Leaders do not follow the way; they seek opportunities to lead others along the right paths.
 At the end of the day, you are accountable for your actions.
 Your word is your bond.
 Be the change you want to see in others (Gandhi).
 If it does not feel right, chances are it’s not right.
 Never let fear stop you from speaking up or out.

As parents, we go to sleep at night, hoping we have taught our kids the right lessons to carry into adulthood. If the actions demonstrated by our 11-year-old daughter are any indication of the type of leader she has the potential to become, then I feel confident saying the world will have one heck of a leader on their hands. But most of all, I can say I am so very proud she is my daughter.